she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
