How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
