His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
