k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
