Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
