those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
