All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
