Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
