The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
