is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
