I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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