The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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