I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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