my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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