After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
