But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
