You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
this boner is exhausting
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
