Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
