I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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