I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
