As long as you're not dating white guys again.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
