I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
