I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
