twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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