Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
