Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
