kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
