i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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