The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
