i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
smell my finger.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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