Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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