Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
