I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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