Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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