The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
