so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
