the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
