I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
This is the high leading the old right now
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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