I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
