also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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