Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
