We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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