I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Rumble strips road head = magical
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
