Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
