ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
