I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
