dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
