It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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