dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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