2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
